I Am Not My Past

The psych ward, The place everybody assumes is all padded rooms and restraints, People think that being in the hospital defines you. So tell me, Does having been in hospital define me? Does it define me as crazy or unsafe? Let me answer that for you, No it doesn't, It says that I knew I had a problem, And I did something about, I was tired of the way I was living and I changed it. Being in the hospital is being in a safe space, A space that you can be who you are And say what you feel, And not have someone say, “Freak”, or much, much worse. I was in the hospital because I thought, I was the forgotten girl, The freak and and the fake friend, I am the one that went to the hospital, I am the one who tried to still her beating heart. But the only difference between me and you, Is the chemical imbalance in my brain, The imbalance that I can't help. So don't hold it against me when I don't want to talk to you, Don't hold it against me when time and time again I you push away. Please push back with all your might Because I am the one who assume its my fault if you're unhappy Because I am the one who treats you like a stranger, Even if I have known you for years. Trust doesn't come easy for me, But trust me when I say, “I am trying” and, “I will get there eventually”. Because I am the one who loves and never lets go, I am the one who loves being alive, Even if my mind is telling me death is better. Come visit me in the hospital, Because I think I have been forgotten, If you don’t. Please don't define me by where I have been, Because I am here now; Even if I don't know for how long. Because I am here now, Love and support me, And please never let go.