I Am Not Me

Gray sky’s warm tear drops sad heart Why do I cry on sight of a blue moon? There are no flowers to soon to bloom When is the sun going to shine? Cloudy days bring rain to my face No ray of hope to bring me out of my depression My sad eyes no longer smile can’t walk a mile As fast as I use too weak to run away Must face the noise in my head the tear drops Cloud my vision the sadness much too deep To find myself to profound are the scares that I wear And the pain I can’t not bare to see myself in despair Broken not ready to be spoken and fix What’s inside my head the scares have not heal What I feel is lonely and sad who can I turn to Who can I trust to pick me up when I stumble and fall? When those I trusted let me down believing all is fine I wear the scares black and blue all up and down my arms On a bad day silent tears comfort me I am a mire reflection of myself no longer fiscally strong A reflection of past memories a stronger me happier days One day at a time fills my days sadness concludes my nights Worry and despair takes my sleep weakness takes my energy Aim fading like in eraser used on a sheet of paper Where is my resolution my conclusion to my dilemma? Some might say feeling sorry for my self is too easy Not use to easy nothing came or comes easy in my life Still I manage to pick myself up not completely healed A mirror of scares reflection of past times Fighting to get back what under the knife took from me Impossible time to move on easy said than done Half the person I use to be looks back at me where can I go When the black clouds fallow me trying to claim Victory pill popping white coat visits Stress burning a hole in my head half the person I use to be A mere reflection looking back at me Where did I go that early December Morning? Love ones wait hours gone by to awake not the same But half the person I use to be no passion lights gone dim Still fighting to get back to myself and I separated By health related issues to deep to come back from