I Am Not Done Healing
my grandmother once told me, when i was 5 or 6
or at the age where nothing besides playtime really mattered,
she told me that healing is not linear.
naturally, being 5 or 6, i brushed this off as another one of her lessons i would never understand,
and i ran off to play.
i never gave it a second thought.
now, it’s all i can think about;
how teaching my mouth to forget the taste of your name is easier said than done,
how it is light years before i can fall asleep to something that is not the memory of you.
the child deep within me wants to still brush it off,
wants to go off and play;
wants to be okay.
but i have learned that no matter how hard i try,
i cannot march in a straight line to forget your name like the soldiers before me
that i cannot turn off the thought of you like flipping on a light switch,
that sometimes,
i don’t want to.
Copyright © Michele Sherman | Year Posted 2018
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