I Am Not Crazy But Desperate
I just want to go the brink of death
To those last moments,to those few milliseconds
To that last fraction
Before going to place from where there is no return.
It is not because I am dangerous, or I want to fool death
It is not even depression
It is desperation complete and utter desperation.
I am that desperate,that desperate to know what my deepest desire is
My likes, my wishes, my dreams, my regrets, my ambition
What I want to do in life,what I would regret not doing in life
What my purpose is, what is my fear that stopped me
Because at those last few moments
I will for sure know everything about me.
Time is ticking I am getting older every second
I am scared that when I finally find my dream
I will have to rush, push ,pull and compromise with fate and time
Every idle minute I spent, will mock me then
As risky it is, I would like to almost step into the doors of death
I want that once, before my actual death, before my actual departure
To find out what I want, who I want to be
Because if I continue living the way I do now
I would someday willingly open the door
Never to return back again.
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