I Am Not Crazy But Desperate

I just want to go the brink of death To those last moments,to those few milliseconds To that last fraction Before going to place from where there is no return. It is not because I am dangerous, or I want to fool death It is not even depression It is desperation complete and utter desperation. I am that desperate,that desperate to know what my deepest desire is My likes, my wishes, my dreams, my regrets, my ambition What I want to do in life,what I would regret not doing in life What my purpose is, what is my fear that stopped me Because at those last few moments I will for sure know everything about me. Time is ticking I am getting older every second I am scared that when I finally find my dream I will have to rush, push ,pull and compromise with fate and time Every idle minute I spent, will mock me then As risky it is, I would like to almost step into the doors of death I want that once, before my actual death, before my actual departure To find out what I want, who I want to be Because if I continue living the way I do now I would someday willingly open the door Never to return back again.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

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Somadas Avatar
October 17, 2019 at 1:22 AM
I like the poem and the crazy thought.. If there are other better ways, why one should go near death and experiment? Interesting..
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