I Am a Virgin Slammer

I am a virgin slammer, Let me get that over with, So if I stammer and speak like a bludgeoning hammer, Let the record be clear: I’m just trying to go with this. So I won’t walk the walk or talk the talk, I may even stain the sheets while I am at it, A crimson red outpouring of moonshine soup you best delete. This isn’t going to be easy, I am feeling downright queazy, Who do I pretend to be today? How many second meanings should I hide behind? Should I show my behind to get the right effect? Or be that disrespect? Elloweeeze Eloise where are you, I need your attitude, right now, Get your little sass into my face so I can pull this off with urban grace. Second meaning by the way is not like second base.. It’s more like you understand that I understand that you understand what I understand, Which is a very non-poetical way of saying you don’t get it. Do you? Nah, you don’t. Woaaa, I don’t like this tone or where this is going, Better to slam this casket shut, Close it man, bury it This storm ain’t gonna get blowing, Not enough to sack Rome with at least, Chill down a bit, let it sit, slow, slow, slow, down down down down Into another town I must go, Find another weather pattern, Let it snow. By the way, I didn’t finish my thought about second base, Didn’t quite tie that one in, So let me try to do something about that, Fear, dust…. ? Oh, I lust… By way of second meaning I will show you where its at, You see (no you don’t) second base is not like second meaning Because (I don’t mean to lecture you my faithful reader just stay with me Together we shall taste victory) Because… well just because (by the way I feel a buzz) Because while second base is halfway to home second meaning Is as far away as you can get from home, At least the kind of home where your mommy and daddy live. Oh, your mommy and daddy…. Or where doggies and kitties roam. Don’t touch the cute doggy, its gonna bite you.. You see, second meaning is like dreaming, Of worlds and words that get to go streaming, Carried down a river, right smack into a gaping verbal liver, On the other side of this metaphorical ride, You can take what once was and use it to deride. Did I make that clear, my teary-eyed poet little dear? Am I filtering things enough for you? So let’s get back to business and draw up another plan, No diversions this time, I’m gonna be a man now, The big poet man, destroy what I can, That’s right, that’s what I am, A big poet human flotsam sack of feathery fluff, Whose gonna huff and puff and blow this safe-house down, Down Down Down Into the ground And bury all you living poets under a mound, Of toothpaste carrion and jelly-shaking deception. What kind of reception do I expect? Less than lukewarm I suspect, This is a virginal conception after all, I am untouched you know, Pure, white, light innocent snow, Falling, slow, slow, slow, Down Down Down Upon fertile land that has known no plow, Oh, no…. I feel a seizure… wouldn’t you know ZZZZZsurprise, Johnny is back, Let us pick up the slack, slam a knife in your poet back, Have some fun, take out my horny verbal gun, Do a zig-zag flyby, grab you by the wings, count your balls, Watch as you fall Down Down Down Into the bottle you go (better to have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy) - that’s a quote “quote” And that was all you wrote my little friend, Buzz, buzz, buzz What a killer buzz…. Did I tie in lust? Well, if you have my trust, I will get back to you on that one. My girl in little red shoes, I will bring you news, And tell you who I AM.