I Am a Survivor

Looking back on my earliest memory from when I was young, I wish I can somehow undo what's already been done. It's like my life was over even before it begun. I should of been able to simply live my life and enjoy some fun, but instead I was forced to endure heartache and pain from almost everyone! I had a forgiving heart, and somehow I managed to keep it whole instead of allowing it to crumble apart, when it should of right from the start. I endured so much pain and so much guilt for keeping it quiet but I was scared, I was a child and oh so unprepared. To everyone else's life I often compared my own. I only wanted to live my life in a happy home, but instead I kept crying out to anyone who would listen, I wondered if anyone loved me if there was a piece to life's puzzle I was missing. As my life went on I was still played like a pawn. I went through more abuse, I only wanted to call a truce. I experienced being ripped from my unhealthy home multiple times, to be placed into a strangers residence where no one could hear my whines. I was alone and afraid, I couldn't understand why my luck always strayed. Why didn't anyone love me, why did everyone think that they were somehow above me, why couldn't someone just give me a break, why couldn't I feel like I was not a mistake, and why couldn't people erase all their hate, and let me achieve a good mental state. Now here I sit after all I went through, and I still wonder if anyone ever even really knew, how I became who I am today with a smile so bright! How did I allow my expectations to reach this height, when did I see the light and allow my soul to ignite, all I know is somehow I got something right, and it was definitely worth the struggle and fight!