Hurting

What am I to him Does he truly love me Does this man that I call my man Really care? Is he truly faithful and loyal to me As I am to him? My brain goes into overload Overthinking Its more than difficult to decipher my gut intuition and overanalization Im so tired of being tired of being hurt My fault is I love and feel deep I wish that I could be cold Therefore there would be no feelings to get hurt I know I have the ability to be numb and indifferent Ive done it before many a time I know Im capable of doing it again But my heart wont let me And my mind is yelling 'shut that off' Feeling alone Don't know what to do or how to feel.....