Humility

We love to be on top, to be liked to be important but God want us to be humble. Humility is something I struggle with not because I'm a materialistic, flashy person but because I tend to get too defensive and feel like I have to prove myself to people. Growing up in the hood I was taught I had to be tough, I had to be aggressive, I had to be edgy in order to survive and get what I want otherwise I be considered soft or a pushover. I'm not blaming my environment because we all are sinful at the end of the day but I'm just reveling the roots behind this bad seed known as pride. I was always quiet, easy-going and socially awkward so I was always a target for someone to be messed with. I was so tired of feeling like a doormat so I thought I had to defend myself when someone say something condescending to me or just attack me about something tooken out of context. It ended up being just pointless energy wasted on people who are always going have their opinion no matter what I say. I have high ambitions of being a full-time poet, traveling around the world and impacting people's lives and I believe God wants me to prosper, but at same time I know pride can come out of such a high position and my biggest fear is that I get so successful that I become arrogant and feel like I can't do no wrong. I seen so many of my heroes fallen because of fame and success: they got addicted to drugs, committed adultury, become self-righteous or forget where they came from. I pray I become more Christ-like in my journey of making it big. I pray for accountability, to have people to tell me no when something is not right. I pray I stay grounded in God that fame and success don't become a liability but asset to my faith. I pray that I get to a place where I don't have to answer to no one but God.