Humble Beginnings

I got a keyboard... ...I hope I try at this..... ....that I try and I don't stop trying.... cause that's what I do.... I sample... ...never eating more than a few bites and stopping after a good taste... ....but now Im starving... Im ready for a meal.... I am master of nothing... nothing... I give up early because its no joy to suck at things... ...humble beginnings lead my ego to generate pain.... ...pain that comes from not being better at learning... ....you know, Im much worse at learning than I used to be.... it has me feeling less than..... creating dislike.... ....and the dislike of this process develops a heavy resistance... ....which overrides the gift of patience for growth because of its intensity... ....and the whole deal becomes unattractive... ....then this fresh baby passion dies under the rath of uncomfortable emotions... ....and I move on to the next trade.... ...with hopes that maybe the next time that it'll be different... ...its always been this way... ...it leaves me longing...to never keep trying means to never have... ...and I haven't had.... I haven't had for a very long time...