Huge Mistake

Broken and bruised with intentions sure pure I calm myself down quickly before the tears pour once more a trail down my face one lands on my heart I laugh at the irony not knowing what is about to start my mind goes black and my breathe so rapid I can’t see straight as I reach for the floor I scream out your name into the silence at night ill live through this only if I can put up the fight The hope I had dangled around my neck the noose seemed to be cut to short as the loudness of the ticking clock vibrated through my ears time was running out I felt the coldness in my veins if only I could reach you tonight maybe I would turn out ok. But since I don’t sleep I won’t dream of you it’s the only place I am sure you will let yourself be found It’s a cut so deep it has no end it goes full circle to where we began a simple kiss still lingers on my lips as I lick the salt from the tears away a tremble sent through my body as I think about your touch and then a moment of nausea over rules the comfort of knowing I may never know your comfort again Funny how life works it builds you up just to see you fall; to fall in love with you But that’s when you start to notice your throat starts to burn, and your heartbeat speeds up when your stomach tightens and your lungs close up when your tears rush to your eyes faster than you ever dreamed possible that's the worst pain you will ever feel I close my eyes and just for a second in time I see your face again as I recall the words that were soft spoken but held so much truth, were three simple words of I love you. Eight letters couldn’t mean more than they do when I am handing them straight to you. But tonight I’ll stay silent as I stare at the sky, I sit here and start to ask questions as to why. Why would I let the love of my life, the future I see my future wife, why would I let them escape from my grasp Now as another tear falls and my chest starts to burn images of you in my head start to turn. I see your smile those beautiful eyes, the way they look as if you’re looking through me. This pain burns more each passing night and deep down I’m losing the fight. I’d give anything just to have one moment with you to say the things I wish you knew. But that’s what I get for being who I am a broken heart and a life so damned. One last whisper before the darkness overtakes as one last tear escapes down my face I clutch the blanket so close to me; I’ll be in love with you forever, even if you’re not with me.