How To Take Care of a Woman

Give her teeth.  Women like teeth Women like attention.  Give her babies Marry her but only once Drive her to the cliff but never over it Hold her hand because holding her feet looks ridiculous Wave bright and shiny things in front of her Never rattle her.  Never call her “Hey you!” Write her name down to remember it Use string.  Don't call her String. Give her cats, puppy dogs and a loaf of bread And don’t forget the eggs and milk Dress her like a clown because clowns are fun If you must, put her in a box…. because you must! Make sure it has holes for breathing Take her sky diving. Sometimes parachutes are required. Give her duct tape. Duct tape can fix anything, even marriages Take her to bed because trampolines are complicated Tell her a joke The one about, what did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? It didn’t say anything but let out a little wine Lead her not into temptation but to the mall Money will do the rest and do it all