How To Build a Spaceship: (Or In This Case, Buy One.)

Salesman: “Can I help you? Yes sir. Yes Sir! Well, you’ve come to the right place. Our own lineup has won awards We lift you up through time and space!” Buyer: “Why, yes, I am. That’s a fact. But I’ll be careful to decide. When I do buy, I want the best So don’t take me for a ride.” Buyer: “No cigars or reflective globes, I want style and sharp and sleek. And it must swirl just out of range They might come up to take a peek. I need a ramp to shoot straight out Or a pod that will reach the ground. I would like a quiet downshift So I can land without a sound From zero to post light warp drive It must hover and not just float I can not deal with under steer, I want sports car without the bloat.” Salesman: “We integrate one straight from spec And customize it to your needs You should know our reputation We are the one who really leads.” Buyer: “It must have the finest force field And nova lights across the tail. Phasers and disintegrators Must be standard or no sale. Does it contain a COSMOS map? So I can go anywhere I please No incidents with the natives I want to come and go with ease. I want the newest type of GORT He can shamble or he can stride I want some muscle in the ship When I suit up and take a ride.” Salesman :“Of course, yes sir, of course you do. Your choice of suits is here for you Well, first there is the standard white: Buyer: “(No, that’s too passé.) Shimmering like the Robinsons: (Ahem, much too gaudy.) Subtle silver much like Klaatu: (No, that’s not really me.) Or the basic Roswell glimmer:” (Okay, I’ll take it.) (That’s the one for me!)” Buyer: “I have a trip, I wish to make. Away so far, a yellow star There’s an orb, the third one out So blue and green, it must be see!” Salesman: “Very good! Congratulations! Sir, you’ve made a splendid choice Will you pay for that in Vorax? (But we also accept quasars.)”