How It End

I spent a little too much time alone and I got stuck inside my head.

The crazy got a little too loud and I just wanted to  go to bed.

I still had good days but they don’t outnumber the bad.

And slowly I’ve lost any sense of hope I had.

I want to scream out loud because I’m angry and pissed.

I’m filled with self hatred with too many flaws to list.

Some will say this is a desperate cry for help.

Some will say it’s just to draw attention to myself.

I really don’t give a  dam what anyone has to say.

For me it’s just a way to vent, an attempt to make it another day.

The sad thing is I’ve no dam right to complain.

Others have had it worse and suffered way more pain.

Perhaps I’m just selfish, another flaw to add to the list.

Maybe just ed in the head and there’s nothing more to this.

I’ve spent all my life searching for something I can care about.

I’ve concluded it doesn’t exist and time is running out. 

I’m sorry but there is no happy ending to the story now.

No fairy tale ending as I take my final bow.

Take the pills and ready the bath.

Leave this note for the loved ones I had.

Don’t try to look for reasons for what I did, and I also want to mention.

Don’t think that I could have been saved had you paid more attention.

The water is warm like a blanket wrapped around me.

I feel at peace as I sink into an unending sleep.

If by some miracle I should ever open my eyes.

Know that this will not be the last time I seek my demise.

I’m done with myself and I’m done with this fake ass life I live.

I'm done trying so hard and I’ve nothing left to give.

So let the darkness take me over one last time.

And put an end to this useless life of mine.

Copyright © Carl Rankin | Year Posted 2022

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