how do i understand?

I am deeply sadden That I couldn’t have more time Oh! How the roles have switched! Deaden the grip On what’s within Now it’s ready to soar Nothing to hold it back The clamp has been Loosened & fallen away There are no more rainy days Just sadness of what was & why it had to be that way? My mind has gone numb From the swirling thoughts Crashing against my skull Only if my soul could Understand the turmoil It’s been through Is there any sense To what has been? Why couldn’t this Life come sooner Always playing out in My head without any end Always stuck in her Own little world they said But it’s no longer my Own little world It’s OUR little world That we are constantly Building living & breathing Ebbing & flowing through Each & every day Right next to you