House versus Home

It aches me to see The different dynamics. How other families work. Watching a friend Speak openly Into the space around them, For everyone to hear. Their usual calm A bubblying excitement. It aches me to see A home be a home While I live in a home That is no more than a house. A home is welcoming, Friendly, inviting. It is a place you can be yourself. The home I reside in is a house With a homely facade. I cannot be myself within the confines Of these walls. I have trained to be quiet In social settings Because quiet Is all that is welcome In my house. In others homes I find myself quiet As that is how I am trained to be. Always quiet. Nothing else. Our volume must be soft So the television can be heard. Irritation and anger ignite When our voices get high. The only safe space That I ever have Is the four walls That make up my room. A friend told me once My room feels safe. I know that it does Because I’ve made it this way. I’ve created the ambiance Of safety for myself. Someone, Please take me away. Get me out of this house And show me a home.