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Hot Crossed Bun

The bar was dark [bars always are] wouldn’t want to see, he asked me what I’d drink, I answered back,“Who me?” Since I didn't have much cash to exchange and less capacity, I told him I’d have a beer, and "Thanks," but have one with me. My heart was mush but, hey what’s new [I told him on beer two.] He said, “Hey sweetie, wha's new? All men want to do is sc*ew..” Tears ran down my face [as tears will do] as I told him, I had no clue. Of all the broken hearts he’s seen, he said, mine was the most askew! “Gave that man everything [I had!] washed his floors and walls. Painted his G*d damned garage trim, pruned his trees of galls." Ole Mick he cocked his head and sighed, his expression pitiful. He said “I’ve been there with ya doll. But, enough of this caterwaul!” “A mans only concrete attribute on which you may rely, is the stick between his own two legs, as over you he lies. If he gives you that my darling doll he’s done..and you can cry for a man’s, but a man for all of that, and you’re but a bit of pie. Contest: Confessions to a Bartender

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




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Date: 12/3/2011 9:16:00 AM
But there are also some Men Poets.... LOL... or as I like to say lesbians (blush) Awesome and very to a T. First I read of yours, will go through the arsenal.... Thanks (bow)
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Date: 11/10/2011 6:13:00 PM
This is good n' gritty! Just what I like. Reminds me of the flip side of a Charles Bukowski story! Hank C. Bukowski is my ABSOLUTE favorite POET on earth. Also, you are right about my page setup. I break up all my lines due to how I enunciate the words. I am a total freelance, weirdo writer. I have no genre, no particular style. Sports journalism is my game, and I write kid's books, adult debauchery down to "save the whales" stuff! May be time to hone in on ONE THING, and shape up! :) thanks again!
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Date: 10/25/2011 10:20:00 AM
A pretty maiden on a stool. There's not a man can help but drool. Some have the class to fill her glass. But they all wish for a peice of that ... Please forgive me for being so crass.
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Date: 10/23/2011 1:05:00 AM
Soup Mail Debbie..!
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Date: 10/23/2011 12:16:00 AM
I'll give this a 7 rating for emotion and its reflective angles,, (but there is more to men than this) "anyway have experienced the write and may you do well with it in the contest Debbie, all the very best Joe..
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Date: 10/22/2011 10:38:00 PM
Was it cherry pie my dear? The women will love this and the men will wonder why but we know the reason don't we. Luv, Lizzie
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Date: 10/22/2011 10:26:00 PM
Darn! You figured out our secret. Really, we do try to comply, but we also love pie. Delightful and well writ.
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Date: 10/22/2011 9:36:00 PM
WICKED! Debbie, this is rich! I loved the asides in this one especially, for you're truly confessing to the READER (ah, that is the secret of your poem, yes?) First line, stanza four, "A man" should be "A man's" I think. I wonder how this would read if the bartender was a WOMAN. Especially, because of the last line of stanza three. And 2nd line of 2nd stanza could go: She said, "Hey Sweetie, don't we know it, all men sc*ew." WORKS GREAT AS IS, SUGAR! I am sure it is top billings! Hugs, Cyndi.
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Date: 10/22/2011 7:49:00 PM
Dayyumm! If that ain't barspeak I don't know what is! Wayta writem, Debbie! Cheers :D~N
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