Hopeless

Cold and lifeless, empty nothingness so deep consuming my life Left feeling hopeless, not caring whether I live or die Chaos and conflict, all that meant everything is gone My kids, my home, my happiness, my will to fight and be strong Addiction has taken me, I hear the devil whispering he will set me free I surrender as I let the warmth rush through every part of me Numbness overtakes, all emotions subside I can forget it all for awhile, escape from my mind I open my eyes only to realize how fast time has passed, this isn't the life I wanted to choose I question how this could be me, I can no longer deny or hide from the truth Overwhelming panic takes over, I know I'm fighting for my life Everyone has turned their backs, thinking tough love is what's right I pray for their understanding, to feel like I'm not alone I beg to please set aside their hate, to understand I can't win this battle on my own Maybe that's the lesson, the only person who has me is me Maybe when I'm laid to rest, thats where I will have finally found peace Each passing day I feel weaker, spiraling down the hole I go Never have I struggled so much, never have I felt so low It was never worth it, so much regret, so much shame Accepting the consequences of my choices, I only have me to blame