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Jinjagoliath
31st May 2023
Eight Word Challenge Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Emile Pinet
> SECOND PLACE <

Listen to poem:

Hopeful Sea

I have a friend
She seems withdrawn 
Our wistful chat before the dawn 

Reveals the truth
The news is grim
It isn't me she loves but him

The shroud of night
Reveals the day
And as my feelings drift away

My heart resists
The dawn's concession
Hopeful sea drowns night depression

Still gloomy truth
Like storms may shudder
With sails revoked, hold fast the rudder

Adventure wanes
As journey's folly
Dashed on rocks of melancholy

boatrelationshipsad lovesearhyme

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Christina Bowring

June 24, 2024 at 3:18 PM

Dear Chris, love this emotive write from you. I can see why it won a very well deserved second place in the contest. I’m awfully late with my congratulations but I’ll say it anyway - many congratulations! It is such a beautiful melancholic read. I love the imagery that you have skilfully captured here and the sense of waves of strong emotion when truth is revealed. I especially love, ‘ The shroud of night reveals the day’ and yet there is a longing for the night to remain as the appearance

Christopher Grieves

June 24, 2024 at 10:05 PM

Christina x you are such a blessing.. thank you for your timely visit dear friend (and I do mean that). The competition was a challenge I enjoyed at the time. I do so appreciate your visit and kind words C :) xx

Christina Bowring

June 24, 2024 at 3:21 PM

of dawn brings with it the shipwreck of hopeful dreams. There’s such a beautiful use of metaphor throughout the poem. One of your finest dear friend. Blessings and smile x :):)

Sam Kauffman

June 29, 2023 at 11:35 AM

Christopher, congratulations on your win. Beautiful cadence to match the waves and tides. Blessings.

Christopher Grieves

June 24, 2024 at 10:06 PM

Thank you, Sam!

David Drowley

June 29, 2023 at 10:35 AM

Congratulations on your win! I could feel the "...journey's folly dashed on rocks of melancholy."

Christopher Grieves

June 29, 2023 at 10:47 AM

David - thank you kindly :)

Beata Agustin

June 23, 2023 at 2:47 AM

Wow! Congrats. Thanks for sharing your talent. God bless you.

Christopher Grieves

June 23, 2023 at 3:28 AM

That's kind. Thank you too :))

John Lawless

June 22, 2023 at 3:40 PM

Excellently done Christopher. The meter mimics the roiling sea as it crashes ashore

Christopher Grieves

June 22, 2023 at 9:53 PM

That is a dimension I hadn't appreciated John. Thank you :)

Linda Alice Fowler

June 22, 2023 at 6:02 AM

Christopher, this is magnificent in its presentation. Your narration is a welcome addition. Congratulations on your win! :)

Christopher Grieves

June 22, 2023 at 6:25 AM

Linda - lovely to hear from you and thanks :) Magnificent is humbling as I am in such good company and very much learning. I appreciate your comments - very happy with a second place.