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WHAT AM I? I am wondering I am questioning Am running yet standing still I am breaking apart with a smile on my face. I want to go home far far away beyond the horizon My home beckons me My heart longs for rest I want to know peace like the back of my hand I want to go go go far away. They say hold your head up They say work work work to be accepted and everyday I drown My head constantly under water My temples constantly under pressure Every time they provoke me Ever time they say am not Working enough Sacrificing enough If only they knew how I bleed to appear How hard I control the beast inside my belly Hold still, I whisper Too many hits So many punches They do not see it They ridicule and laugh And I smile loudly to mask the sound of my crushing heart And the beast roars from the inside And during the night I want to escape Every morning I escape And wonder What if I never went back? What if I carried myself and my memories to a far away land Never to return Never to be remembered Will I be free then? Will I be free... 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 New International Version (NIV) 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.