Hold Me Please Anyone Hold Me Scared

I want to be held right now.... Idk i just feel so sad and strange, and need it now please help me I cant see myself anymore. I feel like a doll that gets played with, and later being thrown aside when her face is melted, her legs are torn, head decapatated. I'm a wreck, a disater, a fault and cant fix it i need help before im am forced to fall off the deep end of this hole that i am digging my lowered self esteem in *staring at the sky looking up to the impossible*. Please I just cant see who i am anymore; look at what I have done to my body, my heart, and my soul they are scared with deceit and pain. I want to be held so badly, but theres noone there to hold me i feel so cold and helpless. God help me, someone help me my life is decaying, my body used, my mind shattered, my spirit gone, my vision is blurry i cant see i cant not feel i cant not breathe. The cords of wire are strangling my neck gushing the black blood of my sins and impurites i used myself ,played myself, and I am the fool! Someone anyone please o god please help me my entire being is screaming, but it cant be heard my voice is crushing and is everything is fading awayg. My existance is flaking, my face ages through out time and space until I become nothing calm because I am not alone I am nothing, but I am everything now I cant be hurt or be in any pain any longer.