Hindsight is 20 20

Is it easy to look back on the trauma of past It’s like taking the knife out my back It cuts going both ways creating path Oh but we cried oh but we laughed Little girls playing with dolls in the basement Unaware of monsters and dangers that cement The innocence taken and breaking me within He was in his teens I was about 6 and again I thought like a child of his suggestion to play Never did occur to me to be cautious afraid Never had I heard of the red word rape And if I did the meaning would escape Gender roles were set in stone you know He was the man of the house we played so I was the wife he could strike or hold Oh I didn’t know I didn’t know I didn’t know That he was taking advantage of me That I was not to blame and I did bleed He put his thang deep inside of me But this pain was not my destiny Looking back in the cracked mirror of past I’d learn to live despite terrible looking glass What good can come from rape of a child Poetry and music and a furious curious smile It happened that I may break the curse Write about it and create healing words For others who experience similar pain My haunted trauma would become healing rain Couldn’t understand then the why me If not you then who dear should it be You were a gift broken into pieces But like Tiffany glass art unique and Blessed to have such a fierce strength That you can relive it again with pen Painting a portrait of passion and grace Not breaking like porcelain stronger in faith Looking back now I believe it destiny To make me sensitive and set me free From the usual childhood of fantasy I’m a survivor teaching rape 101 to Queens