Notes About The Poem

Trigger warning sexual trauma.
For the Hindsight 20 20 contest sponsor Crystal Woods

Hindsight is 20 20

Is it easy to look back on the trauma of past
It’s like taking the knife out my back
It cuts going both ways creating path
Oh but we cried oh but we laughed
Little girls playing with dolls in the basement
Unaware of monsters and dangers that cement
The innocence taken and breaking me within
He was in his teens I was about 6 and again
I thought like a child of his suggestion to play
Never did occur to me to be cautious afraid
Never had I heard of the red word rape
And if I did the meaning would escape
Gender roles were set in stone you know
He was the man of the house we played so
I was the wife he could strike or hold
Oh I didn’t know I didn’t know I didn’t know
That he was taking advantage of me
That I was not to blame and I did bleed
He put his thang deep inside of me
But this pain was not my destiny

Looking back in the cracked mirror of past
I’d learn to live despite terrible looking glass
What good can come from rape of a child
Poetry and music and a furious curious smile
It happened that I may break the curse
Write about it and create healing words
For others who experience similar pain 
My haunted trauma would become healing rain
Couldn’t understand then the why me
If not you then who dear should it be
You were a gift broken into pieces
But like Tiffany glass art unique and
Blessed to have such a fierce strength
That you can relive it again with pen
Painting a portrait of passion and grace
Not breaking like porcelain stronger in faith
Looking back now I believe it destiny 
To make me sensitive and set me free
From the usual childhood of fantasy 
I’m a survivor teaching rape 101 to Queens
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

Poem

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Mckeithan Avatar
January 11, 2025 at 7:22 AM
Courageous poem to write and it must have been difficult and therapeutic at the same time time. Many years ago my sibs and I were abused in every way so I can feel for you and understand this poem. Thanks for writing it
Jones Avatar
January 11, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Thank you for your compassion and your courageous journey must have made you quite a person a survivor! I wish you a life of happiness and healing despite those challenges. Your comment lifted the shadow of secrecy and helps bring about awareness. Thank you dear Oliver!
Woods Avatar
November 30, 2024 at 11:43 AM
You are so very brave, so courageous to share such a traumatic memory and to have gone through such a storm and have the ability to see light and be grateful for the rain that, while experiencing darkness and fear as it happens, also makes the flowers grow. What a beautiful, strong person you are! Ty for entering this and i pray it was therapeutic to write. God bless you Karen! Xoxo
Woods Avatar
December 1, 2024 at 9:21 AM
You're welcome! Xo
Jones Avatar
November 30, 2024 at 1:17 PM
Yes it was a therapeutic write! It’s a warm comment like yours that helps the healing continue. Thanks dear poet! God bless you and yours! PS your contest made me dig deep so thanks for the challenge!
George Avatar
November 30, 2024 at 1:32 AM
"Write about it and create healing words For others who experience similar pain My haunted trauma would become healing rain." I applaud you for this decision. I can understand the trauma you have been through. For a little child who didn't know anything about human physiology or psychology, it must have been a terrific experience when you were forced upon to yield to the carnal desires of a teenager, getting bruised physically and mentally. Hope you have come out of that traumatic experience and is healed completely. Congratulations Karen on your first place win.
Jones Avatar
November 30, 2024 at 6:07 AM
Valsa I had wiped it from my memory as a kid dismissing blood as koolaide then it all came rushing back so therapy helped but I never shared details like this before. Not even in therapy! It was healing to write and shed it kinda like dead skin. Thank you for your support and warm comments!
mysore Avatar
November 1, 2024 at 9:43 PM
I respect you more for writing this dear poet friend. you have weighed every word here and it boldly questions humanity vs human. 'Gender roles were set in stone' virtues are also set in stone dear poet. worthy write, +FAV. blessings.
Jones Avatar
November 1, 2024 at 10:42 PM
I know it was not a pleasant read. I appreciate your support and am honored you fav it! Thanks
M  Avatar
October 29, 2024 at 8:47 AM
Oh Karen....what a despicable disgusting horror to happen to a lil girl...to you. I am so terribly sorry you had to endure such a horrific act like that. I just feel like wrapping my arms around you and giving you the biggest Cuddle. I hear your voice sweet Karen and admire your honesty and bravery.....Debx
Jones Avatar
October 29, 2024 at 9:06 AM
Thank you so much for caring Deb! So many rapists are quite possibly former victims so I too have compassion for them! They weren’t taught properly and lash out perhaps. I at first thought this too grim to pen but then it is really important to be a voice and your empathy is a tool! Thank you!
Cunningham Avatar
October 29, 2024 at 6:52 AM
This is horrifying Karen, sadly it's something you hear about often. They should have a millstone put around their necks and dumped at sea. It's something you'll never forget. Tom
Jones Avatar
October 29, 2024 at 6:57 AM
Yes it is common but what is less common is people talking about it because it IS so horrible. Thanks Tom for reading this difficult subject and empowering survivors by hearing my voice! Hugs
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