Hillbilly Inventions

Here's another tale about hillbillies That you probably don't wanna miss It's about their many inventions And the story goes something like this Now see, my great, great grandfather Was kind of an inventor of sorts He invented stuff like wooden teeth And a lotion that helped remove warts He also invented the very first fuel You know, that stuff we call gas? See, he had an old mule named Leroy It was the fumes coming out of his, ( you know ) He invented the very first wheelbarrow He made my granny carry everything He even invented the first telephone Two cans and a piece of string He even invented the first wooden leg But those termites gave him a fit Until he finally made it termite proof By soakin' it in tobacco spit Did I say he invented the first eyeglasses? Yep, he cut the bottoms of two coke bottles And everytime my granny would wear them They would laugh and say she waddles He also invented the first light bulb Lightning bugs in a jar Fireflies for you folks up north Just so you know what they are See, he invented a lot of things Like the bathroom without a sink Course we just call it an outhouse And he had trouble gettin' rid of the stink Well, the history books don't mention him yet But I know in time that they will Did I tell you he that only smiled When we asked him who invented the wheel