Hillbilly Inventions
Here's another tale about hillbillies
That you probably don't wanna miss
It's about their many inventions
And the story goes something like this
Now see, my great, great grandfather
Was kind of an inventor of sorts
He invented stuff like wooden teeth
And a lotion that helped remove warts
He also invented the very first fuel
You know, that stuff we call gas?
See, he had an old mule named Leroy
It was the fumes coming out of his, ( you know )
He invented the very first wheelbarrow
He made my granny carry everything
He even invented the first telephone
Two cans and a piece of string
He even invented the first wooden leg
But those termites gave him a fit
Until he finally made it termite proof
By soakin' it in tobacco spit
Did I say he invented the first eyeglasses?
Yep, he cut the bottoms of two coke bottles
And everytime my granny would wear them
They would laugh and say she waddles
He also invented the first light bulb
Lightning bugs in a jar
Fireflies for you folks up north
Just so you know what they are
See, he invented a lot of things
Like the bathroom without a sink
Course we just call it an outhouse
And he had trouble gettin' rid of the stink
Well, the history books don't mention him yet
But I know in time that they will
Did I tell you he that only smiled
When we asked him who invented the wheel
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