Hidden Stream

Waltzing ‘mongst the redwoods she now meanders
Shyly smiling, candid in guileless virtue
Feeling carefree, gleeful, of threats unwary...
Progress encroaches.


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Sapphic Stanza Contest
Sponsor: William Kekaula

© 21st January 2019
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Goldsmith Avatar
September 30, 2021 at 10:58 AM
Back with Congratulations on this new win. Have a great/blessed day writing away..............
Carmack Avatar
September 26, 2021 at 5:41 PM
This is my favorite from the contest I have read so far, congrats on your win.
Kelii Kekaula Avatar
September 22, 2021 at 12:27 AM
Paul, as poets we offer nature a voice of blissful words knowing that progress is a fate that may mute our voice but not our words. Nicely done my friend, with my compliments, Aloha!
Goldsmith Avatar
September 21, 2021 at 11:21 AM
Congratulations on your win. You have so much talent. Have a blessed day.............
Mohn Avatar
February 14, 2019 at 8:17 PM
Congratulations Paul! I see we both have a thing for redwoods :) love your take on this.
Callus Avatar
February 15, 2019 at 8:47 AM
Thank you, David. Yes, must be some kind of telepathy :) Regards // paul
Agustin Avatar
February 13, 2019 at 9:06 PM
Congrats! Thanks for sharing your talent. God bless you.
Callus Avatar
February 14, 2019 at 7:30 AM
Thank you, Beata. Blessings to you, too! Have a nice day. // paul
Carmack Avatar
February 13, 2019 at 7:05 PM
Nicely done. Congrats Paul.
Callus Avatar
February 14, 2019 at 7:28 AM
Thank you, Rob. Best regards // paul
Awtry Avatar
February 13, 2019 at 1:04 PM
Wow, you got me with that jux. This is beautiful! Congratulations!
Callus Avatar
February 13, 2019 at 2:03 PM
So pleased you found it to your liking, P.S. Thank you on all counts. Regards // paul
Cornish Avatar
February 13, 2019 at 10:26 AM
As I reread this I like it more all the time Paul, thank you for taking the time in this difficult form to do it so well.
Callus Avatar
February 13, 2019 at 2:02 PM
Thank you, Craig. I was not quite sure that I had got it right. I like contests that challenge the mind. Regards // paul
Wanter Avatar
February 10, 2019 at 10:21 AM
Just ran across this. Very strong and surprising.
Callus Avatar
February 10, 2019 at 1:39 PM
So pleased that you enjoyed it, Sunlite...thank you! Regards // paul
Dietrich Avatar
February 5, 2019 at 3:42 PM
Still one of my very favorites in the contest, Paul. I predict a win! I finally did mine. I rather like how i did it, but I think so far only one comment. I wonder if it is understandable! to people!!
Callus Avatar
February 6, 2019 at 9:07 AM
Thank you, Andrea. I enjoyed your entry, and yes, it is understandable! Maybe people are more wary of the form itself, fearing to commit themselves to stressed and unstressed syllables! Regards // paul
Dietrich Avatar
February 2, 2019 at 5:09 PM
this is so gorgeous, Paul! A contest I dearly hope to write for quickly.
Callus Avatar
February 2, 2019 at 5:16 PM
Thank you, Andrea. After reading Craig's blog I decided to write another one; now I am not sure which one to enter!! Regards // paul
Proxenos Avatar
January 30, 2019 at 8:40 AM
Hi Paul, Progress encroaches - how sad, it is taking away the green and beautiful and natural. I have a poem that I am posting which writes about this horrible, dreadful encroachment on nature, animals and tribes. Love your poem Paul, wonderfully penned. Poetry hugs, Jennifer.
Callus Avatar
January 30, 2019 at 3:42 PM
Unfortunately we are slowly eating away at what we inherited for free. I wonder what will be left for future generations, especially in small islands like those I live in. ~ Poetry hugs to you too, Jenny. // paul
Horne Avatar
January 29, 2019 at 3:32 PM
love this & I forgot what a super form this is - a sure winner in the contest
Callus Avatar
January 30, 2019 at 3:34 PM
Thank you, Jack. All the best // paul
Y. Avatar
January 26, 2019 at 11:57 AM
Hi Paul, I agree with Silent One, this is such a clever to take on the contest. This form looks difficult to me. I think you did a good job. I wish you the best of luck in the contest:-) Alexis
Callus Avatar
January 26, 2019 at 4:05 PM
Many thanks, Alexis:) True, not an easy form, but I am here to learn (even at my age!), so I go for it:) Regards // paul
One Avatar
January 26, 2019 at 8:14 AM
Clever take on this, with intellectual words in a short poem..
Callus Avatar
January 26, 2019 at 9:21 AM
Thank you S-1. I think this is only my second Sapphic stanza which I've written. Regards // paul
Marcum Wong Avatar
January 25, 2019 at 12:10 AM
We have a need to come full circle Paul and return to the past in solutions that worked. Progress isn't always for the best if the stakes are too high. This is a great entry for the contest. I couldn't attempt it. I am sure it will do well! : ) xxoo
Callus Avatar
January 25, 2019 at 11:14 AM
Thank you, Connie; your insightful comments are appreciated...so is the faith you show in my poem. Wishing you a lovely weekend. // Regards // paul
Devonshire Avatar
January 23, 2019 at 5:52 PM
Sometimes I wish there wasn't so much "progress" encroaching, Paul. I followed your meter and you seem to have it perfect! I can picture the "meandering" being done by a woman, an animal or a stream. You really gave a great description in this short verse form. (I've tried to write for this with no success.) Best wishes in Craig's contest! Hugs, carolyn
Devonshire Avatar
January 30, 2019 at 5:26 PM
It's the same here, but Malta has so much to protect. Let's hope trends change, my friend.
Callus Avatar
January 24, 2019 at 10:54 AM
Most of the progress in my country is connected with development by the same individuals who are led by greed for money. Unfortunately our environment and cultural heritage are going to the dogs. Thank you for the lovely feedback. Hugs // paul
Sands Avatar
January 23, 2019 at 4:53 PM
Beautifully written Paul :)
Callus Avatar
January 24, 2019 at 10:50 AM
Thank you, Heidi :) Regards // paul
Pandit Avatar
January 23, 2019 at 3:54 PM
I see the hidden guileless virtue..among redwoods..you painted the scene well Paul. Regards.
Callus Avatar
January 23, 2019 at 4:37 PM
Thank you, Vijay. Glad you enjoyed. The idea of joyful innocence is hard to resist, yet nothing lasts for ever! Regards // paul
Onclaud Avatar
January 23, 2019 at 3:50 PM
grreeat twist in the end, paul... could she have seen danger ahead?... well done..huggs
Callus Avatar
January 23, 2019 at 4:34 PM
Thank you, Nette. Hidden away from inquisitive eyes and human influence, I would say that she still was too innocent to perceive danger. Hugs // paul
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