Hidden

Hiding behind a mysterious facade As they wrongly charge me with blatant estimations of who I am. Drowning in scorched tears, not sure about this voiceless and veiled existence. Feeling displaced as they examine my New York inflection, while the obtrusive glaring results in false postulations. Every encounter, never able to combat their fallacious beliefs as the scorn is poured over me. They’ve always been adjudicators during my trials and tribulations instead of enacting the simplest act of kindness. Slightest glimmers of decency quickly Turn into dismal darkness as I’m smeared with assumptions. If I were not an abused child, my mistakes would’ve been negligible thereby ceasing the incessant torment. Still and soundless while I disappear, Into nothingness concealing and burying my most heartfelt thoughts. While my dignity is attacked, there’s no way out, so I stay masked and muted. Any aspirations are abolished. When it was clear I had it together rushing to and from jobs and schools their knives of ridicule remained sharp. Though I have night terrors from the degradation and disgrace of their actions, I pushed forward contrary to expectations! When dressing in costume at Comic Cons, I feel joy, escapism, and freedom while disappearing as someone else. As I speak about my writing, this angers them but I’ll continue to record these intrinsic feelings of humility. That woman said, “Why are you hiding your warmth and compassion?” I answered, “When I showed it they destroyed me.” I consider my silence more powerful than any words, I could ever say, but, who will try to understand? I continue screaming inside, “I’m so much more than that!” though, it’s inconceivable to them! Please accept my decision, to stay hidden protecting myself, so I don’t suffocate on the fumes of the lies. Have mercy on me, O God, as I look to You For protection, hiding beneath the shadow of Your wings until this violent storm is over. As, always, I remain hidden, Diane Perna