Hidden
Hiding behind a mysterious facade
As they wrongly charge me with
blatant estimations of who I am.
Drowning in scorched tears,
not sure about this voiceless
and veiled existence.
Feeling displaced as they examine my
New York inflection, while the obtrusive
glaring results in false postulations.
Every encounter, never able to combat
their fallacious beliefs as the scorn is
poured over me.
They’ve always been adjudicators during
my trials and tribulations instead of
enacting the simplest act of kindness.
Slightest glimmers of decency quickly
Turn into dismal darkness as I’m
smeared with assumptions.
If I were not an abused child, my
mistakes would’ve been negligible
thereby ceasing the incessant torment.
Still and soundless while I disappear,
Into nothingness concealing and burying
my most heartfelt thoughts.
While my dignity is attacked, there’s no
way out, so I stay masked and muted.
Any aspirations are abolished.
When it was clear I had it together
rushing to and from jobs and schools
their knives of ridicule remained sharp.
Though I have night terrors from the
degradation and disgrace of their actions,
I pushed forward contrary to expectations!
When dressing in costume at Comic Cons,
I feel joy, escapism, and freedom
while disappearing as someone else.
As I speak about my writing, this angers
them but I’ll continue to record these
intrinsic feelings of humility.
That woman said, “Why are you hiding your
warmth and compassion?” I answered,
“When I showed it they destroyed me.”
I consider my silence more powerful
than any words, I could ever say,
but, who will try to understand?
I continue screaming inside, “I’m so
much more than that!” though,
it’s inconceivable to them!
Please accept my decision, to stay hidden
protecting myself, so I don’t suffocate
on the fumes of the lies.
Have mercy on me, O God, as I look to You
For protection, hiding beneath the shadow
of Your wings until this violent storm is over.
As, always, I remain hidden,
Diane Perna
Copyright © Diane Perna | Year Posted 2020
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