Hesitation Marks
You could've just drank whiskey like a smart man
Drown your sorrows in enough beer to drown a fish
Smoked enough cigarettes to burn your house down
Taken a walk
Pull up your mask and walk in for the day
Listen to the lost and damned wail once more
Bite your lip and try not to cry
Hide those hesitation marks from everyone you care about
A bloody impulse has left you worse off
In one short month, you lost everything
Burnt every bridge you spent years building
And now you're too scared to eat
Does it taste as bad as it looks?
A 15 minute nap pays for it, you know
People dream of it, fight for it, die for it
And no one who has it is happy with it
You really don't function like you used to
The pandemic broke you in ways you don't realize yet
It hurts to unlearn 30 years of praise, doesn't it?
Do you think the doctor was right?
But what good would it be knowing now?
It's getting a little late to shift paths meaningfully
And much harder now with those wounds of yours
You swam from the island a day before the boat saved us
Your half-measure hurt more than you realized, huh?
Commit or don't; you're stuck with it now
When told to sail or sink, you chose to tread
And now sharks are nibbling at your legs
You must hate that part of town by now
Twice now, it's nearly gotten you killed by your own hand
And twice you've chosen to live on
Unwhole, unclean, unwell, unhappy
Are you worried you won't be the same this time next year?
As your brain tried so often to hatch from its skull
You've lived this hell before, but with a light ahead to guide
It's been dark for too long by now
Ashen One, hearest thou my voice still?
Copyright © Derek Chos | Year Posted 2024
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment