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Her first time

Standing on the wall Her hands tightly gripping the bottle Slowly moving in her heels praying Not to fall She is quite shy says her friend Becky I want her dare me and I'm ready Just a little tipsy I approach her steady Her name is Anne come on let's dance She pushes me aside I barely had a chance You say you have boundaries I will cross them And I won't step on your lines I'll snort them Don't be in a hurry to leave early Take time and enjoy your first ever party

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




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Date: 12/10/2011 11:41:00 AM
great work maina really interesting efite
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Date: 10/15/2011 2:20:00 PM
very interesting situation and plot...but i feel the mechanics of the poem could be better organised...is it rhyme or free verse? is grammar deliberately loose or not? ........................... Why not try a re-work? you may surprise yourself at the improvments you make. Best wishes
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