Heavy About Thirst

Heavy Thirst

The clouds are dark
The clouds are heavy
Heavy clouds bring hope
Heavy hope for rain
Rain to refresh the scorched land
Rain scorched land is bereft of water
Water to quench its thirst
Water for thirsty plants and trees
Trees reduced to bones
Trees that look so skeletony
Skeletony enough for us to afear
Skeletony as they have been boned with drought
Drought to wipe away all that was born to flourish
Drought rid land where not a thing lives without rain
Rain I do wish to ask you a question
Rain bewildered question me why wait
Wait not too long to be flooded
Wait not  for my startling answers
Answers I said will resolve my queries
Answers to questions that have been tormenting me
Me the sinner remains petrified
Me wary that you have for us no care 
Care that is wanting in life
Care without which life has become corrupt
Corrupt because the world has become selfish
Corrupt is the very soul of all humans
Humans within and beastly without
Humans sans love and warmth
Warmth amiss to keep the households together
Warmth necessary to keep devastations away
Away from the evil eye
Away  from what the eye can envision
Envision what the eye cannot see
Envision how difficult to keep any danger away
Away from man's heart and soul
Away from soul which is our healer
Healer of sorrows
Healer that can be turned
Turned into fragment
Turned and spurned as worthless 
Worthless because they come in parts
Worthless parts lack any great strength
Strength frightens inert cowards
Strength overtly will continue abode
Abode on this kingdom 
Abode that often remains in thirst
Thirst because there is no rain
Thirst be quenched Man you yourself have answered
Answered
Rain



Balveen Cheema
September 3, 2015

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015



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Date: 9/12/2015 8:19:00 AM
Awesome work !! No wonder it is in the winners’ list. Congrats..Sara
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Date: 9/8/2015 10:47:00 AM
Love you Skat for your appreciation!
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Date: 9/8/2015 9:02:00 AM
Balveen, Congratulations on your -Down Under- win. Love .....SKAT**
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Date: 9/7/2015 7:09:00 PM
Balveen, congratulations on your win! Hugs Eve
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Cheema Avatar
Balveen Cheema
Date: 9/7/2015 7:48:00 PM
Thanks Eve for taking out time to congratulate! Love, Balveen
Date: 9/7/2015 4:15:00 PM
Balveen what kept you from getting higher was the sentence length, really you should try for no more than 4 or 5 words, also the title [which is done properly] could have been made to work better say [crying clouds bring hope] that would have given you a title of Crying for Thirst ... a much better title for you. Do try again it is much easier the second time. Congrad's! Light & Love
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Cheema Avatar
Balveen Cheema
Date: 9/7/2015 7:47:00 PM
Now this is what I call a true critical appreciation! Thanks and love you for your putting me on the right track. My first blitz with a perfect mentor. Hugs, Balveen
Date: 9/7/2015 4:11:00 AM
Thanks Upma! It is the first time I have tried and written the Down Under Form. Love, Balveen
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Date: 9/6/2015 11:40:00 PM
Superb winning write Balveen, big congrats!
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