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TITLE CHANGED FOR NEW CONTEST - ORIGINAL TITLE HEARTBROKEN CHILD CRIES

FICTIONAL EMOTIVE WRITE
Since I was a tiny baby I was brought up by my grandparents and had a very happy childhood. I knew that they were not my real parents but they gave me such love that I didn’t ask any questions for fear of upsetting them. Grandma’s eyes would mist over any time anyone mentioned my parents so I knew something bad had happened to them Whispers in the hall The child is too young to know They passed so quickly I left home at 20, married and moved to a small town about 50 miles from where I grew up. I was always in touch with my grandparents, but over time old age crept upon them and I recently cleared the family home when grandma passed away. I discovered yellowing newspaper cuttings, which told of how my parents had been killed in a horrific car crash, it also detailed their final resting place in the local cemetery. Family secrets Scrapbook of old photographs My parents smiling Dawn is breaking and dappled sunlight streams through the trees. A veil of grey swirling mist shrouds the cemetery. I pull my shawl closely around my shoulders and begin my search. Strands of ivy hang down from the towering yew trees, its dark green tendrils wrapped around the grey granite graves clinging so tightly as if it was trying to hold up the graves like a puppet on a string. The fallen gravestones remind me of decaying teeth with many gaps where stones had crumbled with age and neglect. I walk slowly, reading the names of those who now had eternal rest. Eventually I found their grave at plot 142, where a marble angel watches over them sleeping. I scrape off the thick lichen, which obscures their names. Tears fall and I hug the gravestone wishing I could embrace my parents for real. I greet my parents Stone cold grave gives me closure Heartbroken child cries 09~26~16 Contest Overgrown With Vines Sponsored by Broken Wings submitted to ''H'' Contest, New or Old Poems Poetry Contest Sponsored by Constance La France

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 9/11/2021 10:13:00 AM
WOW!!! Congratulations on your win. What a beautiful yet sad story/write. This does happen to many people. Your pen was working overtime. Have a blessed day/weekend.................
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Date: 9/9/2021 7:41:00 AM
This made me so emotional Jan.I have no words to describe how wonderful this is.Congratulations on your win.
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Date: 9/9/2021 3:11:00 AM
Superb narration, truly heartfelt, heartbroken child, congrats on your win
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Date: 9/9/2021 1:28:00 AM
Wonderful narration. Indeed, a beautiful poem. Congratulations!
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Date: 9/8/2021 9:29:00 PM
Jan, congratulations on your win in my "H" Contest, New or Old with your beautiful poem, I really like the Haibun form ~ love and serenity _Constance
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Date: 10/10/2016 5:39:00 PM
Jan, what a great poem. Congrats on your win, and thanks fro introducing me to the form of the haibun, of which i had never heard before. Agnes
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/13/2016 7:38:00 PM
Sorry I've just come across your comment Agnes:-( thanks:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 10/10/2016 1:05:00 AM
This is a fine example of the haibun form. I can feel the emotional cord that you have touched in me, and all your other readers. If I introduced you to this form then I am pleased to have helped. Well done on your placement with this superb write.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 10/10/2016 2:26:00 AM
I have an idea you introduced me to it - I am so glad Constance liked it:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/9/2016 3:36:00 PM
Jan, you are one terrific storyteller, I was engrossed from the first word, I was held captive by your words, you are such a talent, CONGRATULATIONS on your win in my contest ~
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 10/9/2016 4:27:00 PM
Thanks Constance - this is a real diversification from my usual humourous style but I am trying hard to improve my writing skills:-) I am so so glad you liked it and for a top placement:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/9/2016 11:12:00 AM
An interesting choice of form Jan, with which you have told a wonderful story. The form was well done and nicely written.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 10/9/2016 4:24:00 PM
Many thanks James I am so glad Constance liked my poem:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 10/9/2016 11:07:00 AM
I knew this would be a top winner! congratulations on your placement :)-luloo
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 10/9/2016 4:24:00 PM
Many thanks Luloo:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/8/2016 11:35:00 PM
Congrats Jan. Worthwhile 1st.......Seren
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 10/9/2016 3:55:00 AM
Thanks Seren - I try to stay away from longer writes but i think this form worked well with the prompt:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/8/2016 4:22:00 PM
Congrats on your winning work..Sara
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 10/9/2016 3:54:00 AM
Thanks Sara:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/8/2016 2:51:00 PM
Great write and win Jan...Congrats
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 10/9/2016 3:53:00 AM
Thanks Joseph:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/8/2016 2:29:00 PM
WoW! Jan, you wrote a good write.I'm not that familiar Haibuns but I know a great write when I see one.It was a sad and tragic write that brought tears to my eyes. Closer brings healing. Well done.Congratulations on your 1st place win. It was well deserved. A without a doubt seven:-) Alexis
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 10/9/2016 3:53:00 AM
Thanks Alexis:-) I've only written this form a couple of times - thought it was ideal for this particular contest:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/8/2016 2:18:00 PM
Congratulations on your win, Jan, this is so beautiful and will thought out : ) Hugs Eve
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 10/9/2016 3:52:00 AM
Thanks Eve:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/6/2016 8:25:00 AM
Oh, such a sad one, but a nicely done haibun, Jan:) I agree with Sara:)
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 10/8/2016 1:18:00 PM
Thanks so much Jo I just got a first place - am so delighted that Constance liked my interpretation of the picture:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 9/27/2016 8:57:00 AM
Emotive and expressive work..Reads likea winner to me..Thanks for dropping by..Sara
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 9/27/2016 9:24:00 AM
Thanks Sara:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 9/27/2016 1:11:00 AM
A wonderful sad story, I found it easy to read, as I can sometimes get board with some poems, but this kept me captivated right until the end x
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 9/27/2016 2:50:00 AM
I try to steer clear of long poems Wendy as people can be put off when they see a lengthy tome - this poem evolved from paragraph 3 which I wrote on Sunday evening and I tried a form i'd only written once before:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 9/26/2016 7:57:00 PM
this s terrific Jan...original and moving
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 9/27/2016 2:43:00 AM
Thanks David:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 9/26/2016 3:17:00 PM
You penned this so immensely great my friend JAN. It's so sadden. Thanks for posting........A.M.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 9/26/2016 3:50:00 PM
Thanks Afolabi:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 9/26/2016 2:02:00 PM
I can't wait for your third one Sis. Love you with all my heart.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 9/26/2016 2:32:00 PM
Aww thanks my friend:-) you sure brighten up my day with your lovely comments:-( love and hugs jan xx
Date: 9/26/2016 11:25:00 AM
Brilliant Jan and I do know haibun. A huge fav!
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 9/26/2016 11:34:00 AM
Many thanks Armand its only my second attempt at this form:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 9/26/2016 10:54:00 AM
Excellent write Jan. I don't know much of the form but the imagery and feel of sadness was superb.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 9/26/2016 11:36:00 AM
Thank Tim:-) :-) I've only written one other before and the poem didn't start off as a haibun as I wrote the third paragraph last night and was going to post it as free verse but inspiration hit and this is the result:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 9/26/2016 8:05:00 AM
Jan - a fantastic write and you have managed to bring tears to my eyes. Well done - all the best in the contest - looks like a winner to me Regards, Mark
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 9/26/2016 8:08:00 AM
Thanks Mark - I hope people aren't put off reading it as it is a long poem - I hope Constance likes it:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 9/26/2016 7:39:00 AM
Excellent. Amazing write. Enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing it.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 9/26/2016 7:41:00 AM
Thanks so much Ravi:-) hugs Jan xx
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