Have I Betrayed...
Have I betrayed your trust?
I hope you'll not feel that.
I wished it not upon myself for fear
that I might lose you.
I feared your presence gone
and the deafening silence it would cause.
As I lay in that bed
(or as it may be, cot)
I dreamt of you;
as I drifted through the world of sleep
I saw your face.
But upon waking, dreams are shattered
(like hot glass put into ice water)
by hands that I soon felt
were not yours,
and kisses that belonged
not to the man my dreams
but man of my nightmares.
And I forced myself tight
between the wooden wall and
the reeking specimen at my back
I leaned my forehead against that wooden barrier
and sought to remove the scent from my nostrils.
I (that woman who rejects all ideas of heavenly sovereigns)
prayed for Apollo to bless me with his light;
for all that was bred of night and darkness
may be smighted by the warmth.
I prayed the heat might melt the ice around my soul.
Did I betray your trust when I lay
in a bed with a man who haunts my dreams?
Blame me not!
What would I gain by losing
that true man who I cherish above all else?
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