Hating Loving You

Kick me away Screw me into the dirt make me hate you the way you seem to hate me you make it hard to love you, sadly still what i'm trying to do but i would rather hate you it would be much easier to hate you so. much. easier stop this! stop doing this to me I can’t think, I can’t breath, without you next to me without the thought of you. here. with me. I loved you Something i could not see before you left me too late but what difference would it have made? How wasn’t I enough How did I not make you happy? was I too selfish, too sad, too consumed in loving you, in trying to love you that I forgot to be real? I wanted to be real I tried to be real looking for myself, as I searched your soul, I was so sure I had found her who i wished i could be I wasn’t perfect and neither were you but in that imperfection was peace, was love in the way you smiled at me laughed with me cried with me talked with me about how your world was , you were falling apart, you were scared you just needed to be loved and i knew it was everything you deserved after everything, still maintaining who you were, miraculously who you still are even though i’m not there with you to see that person anymore to know that person anymore