Harried Harris heir still feels horrid courtesy heist he doth declare

Harried Harris heir still feels horrid courtesy heist he doth declare... Earlier this merry month of May a goniff who possibly did gossip about his/her surreptitious exploits when he/she brazenly accessed ATM machine situated at 13 West Ridge Street Lansford Pennsylvania 18232 pulled off outright theft found him/herself in possession of debit card with Mastercard logo (I deduce mail meant for us - particularly the missus got sent to incorrect address) unknown person took liberty considered themselves blessed a golden opportunity became their manifest destiny initially linkedin to activate debit card immediately afterward acquired access to monies in our joint account and stuffed their pockets with moolah belonging to yours truly and the missus he/she blithely devolved into criminal mind, nevertheless mischievous person had themselves a handy dandy blue's clues field day when they considered him/herself lucky duck emptied checking account (belonging to sexagenarian husband and wife, and as the former generally identified victim) can attest to electronic record identified espying online account in question with erroneous withdrawn funds incorporating a half dozen transactions - instantaneously rendered me penniless, the writer of these words matter of fact pondered joining dead souls, and rider in the emotional storm hankered for eternal peace proffered courtesy "Spiritus Mundi," I suddenly felt compelled to renounce living social and (despite lack of life insurance) capitulate to the afterlife, yet restraint and being support animal of the wife checked impulse to surrender on a wing and a prayer to the divine cosmic force ideally for monetary salvation, where upon the countless rungs of each heavenly stair, presented a daunting task nevertheless these little feet of mine tirelessly climbed every mountainous step attempting to reach the elusive summit in sum re: experienced a spring in mine gait with subsequent ascendent footstep taken with increased vim and vigor as if being buoyed forth, perhaps invisible strings controlled me as a marionette ascending closer to another lightness of finally being no longer discombobulated nor distressed simian gifted with eternal blessedness to behold the infinite blinding starburst signaling out of this world magnificent phenomenal supernova, bathing, hashtagging and searing across retinas freed from cataracts courtesy opthamologist Aaron Cohn rendering vision to behold brilliant permanent images attesting to the infinite starry eyed breadth, scope, and width of the universe city of galactic accretions splayed out across the cosmos an ever expanding profound show stopper fanfare for a common man enjoying an Appalachian Spring while attending a Rodeo reinforcing nihilistic existentialism while reducing egotistical pomposity into an infinitesimal nothingness, yet in the meantime welcomes munificence videre licet largesse or more simply stated as cold hard cash for this Johnny.