Debbie Guzzi Poet Haiku

Haiku Lesson

*not a tradition haiku because it is subjective it is my judgement you are told to see the vine strangling the maple something a person would do, further you are told my my imagining that the vine is seeking revenge - so this is more Free Verse than haiku

a bittersweet vine
strangles the dormant maple
ribbon of revenge

* haiku - objective, factual with a season, with 2 parts and implied metaphor

a bittersweet vine
twines about the maple tree --
swollen knuckles ache

I am here, I see the vine, I show you the vine, I see my hand at the same time, now you SEE the relationship, you FEEL, I don't tell you what to feel. The change occurs in where my eyes have fallen first up & out and then down to my hands

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M. L. Kiser February 19, 2014 at 5:51 AM A haiku with some really beautiful imagery.

Bl Devnath November 15, 2012 at 9:23 PM Both are nice only angles are different. You are genius always. Thanks for wishing me congrats. Loved always, bl

Vicky Tsiluma November 14, 2012 at 1:18 AM I think I'm starting to get it. first one, subjective(it's telling), second one, implied metaphor(fill in the blanks yourself). Okay, next lesson.

Robb A. Kopp November 13, 2012 at 11:05 PM cool

Cyndi Macmillan November 13, 2012 at 9:03 PM I like both of the first two lines. The last lines confuse me. Are the knuckles aching because they have attempted to untwine the vines? I KNOW you have a sense of humour. Read my When Basho met Jack. It should inspire a chuckle. Or at least another Gib's momment. Me....DEE-noto. HA! xox Debbie Guzzi November 14, 2012 at 6:48 AM LOL I do not have to tell you why the knuckles are aching..hopefully you see the similarity between the swelling cause by the vine on the tree giving it an appearance similiar to my swollen knuckles BUT I don't do everything right LOL maybe we need to work on it!

Andrea Dietrich November 13, 2012 at 7:55 PM I think I like the second one, Debs. What does that say about me?

Elizabeth Wesley November 13, 2012 at 5:28 PM I still like the first one Deb, a beautiful metaphor in that last line! Debbie Guzzi November 13, 2012 at 5:33 PM I'm happy you like it I wrote it years ago, among my first tries at haiku, traditional haiku does not use poetic vehicles such as metaphor/ modern haiku uses IMPLIED metaphor which means you get the metaphorical relationship by SEEING the two images side by side [in your mind not in my words]

Russell Sivey November 13, 2012 at 4:18 PM I enjoyed this Debbie, I am just an amateur when it comes to Haiku, as you already know! But I try sometimes! I really liked the second verse you have here, the Haiku! This is a tremendous learning piece, thank you, Great Work!!