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Haiku 42 - 1,2,3,4,5

1 a noiseless moment he writes in his diary incessant snow 2 every day he hoped every day she avoided… waning moon 3 his need for love he opened his careless mouth oak tree, splintered 4 words that she heard anger and bewilderment forest inferno 5 his trembling sadness enclosed in silence and time incessant snow Fin

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Sara Kendrick

Date: 5/4/2013 6:11:00 PM

Interesting work that you have penned in these..I love the play on words with emotion...Sara

Jack Jordan
Date: 5/4/2013 7:37:00 PM

Thanks, Sara. I had fun writing it... Jack

Timothy Hicks

Date: 4/29/2013 12:19:00 AM

I've responded to your comments on my work. I wanted to say I'd love to try haikai, but I can't think of a practical way to do it on the soup. The only thing that half way makes sense (in my mind) is Soup Mail message bouncing back and forth between other members. Each time the message gets longer and longer, extending the poem. While at the same time, though, that kinda puts pressure on people to think of an add-on quickly... Hmmmm...

Jack Jordan
Date: 4/29/2013 7:42:00 AM

That's sort of what I thought too. Doing so would necessitate having a list of writers beforehand, publishing the results every time a new haiku was added (I'm not sure where. Maybe on both of our pages.), and editing none of them. we could write the first and last. I suggest one of the shorter forms such as shisan (12 writers; http://www.ahapoetry.com/renga.htm)... Jack

Delysia Hendricks

Date: 4/28/2013 8:56:00 PM

This I call mastery of the haiku. Each one can stand on its own, yet they're an integral part of the whole. Lovely work, Jack. :)

Jack Jordan
Date: 4/28/2013 9:11:00 PM

That's very kind of you. I really appreciate the comment... Jack

Ale A A

Date: 4/28/2013 5:34:00 PM

I always admire those that wrote Haiku saying so much with so little. The real poets.

Jack Jordan
Date: 4/28/2013 7:44:00 PM

Thank you. That's very kind... Jack

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 4/28/2013 2:19:00 PM

- I see what you mean, Jack - they go together like a "haiku story" - well done! - (I posted a Haiku today) - Have a great new week! - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

Timothy Hicks

Date: 4/28/2013 9:46:00 AM

Kinda went full circle on me. I was wrong in my guess, but it's still a very well written piece. A journal piece filled with great sadness. I wonder what you could accurately call this? Each individual haiku works on it's own, yet at the same time it forms a sorta story format. I've always wanted to try haikai (the origins of haiku), but you need several poets to join you...

Jack Jordan
Date: 4/28/2013 9:57:00 AM

That sounds like an interesting idea...