Growing Up

A kid goes from lower kindergarten to upper kindergarten... but he's still a cute li'l kid... a student finishes first year of high school and moves on to the next but he's still a student with academic pressures only again, in college there isn't much difference between sophomores and seniors why is it that once you finish college and move on to further qualify yourself academically the world suddenly looks at you as a 'grown-up' individual... and expects you to be a block of stone of infinite stability and responsibility levels ? why are we 'old' ? does it seem stupid if I now want to stop to stare at lovely looking flowers or colourful candies in a supermarket ? why does it seem intolerable if I throw tantrums for eating and sleeping ? why should i do only the right thing ? has life decided to give me no more chances ? no more wrong steps now ? why is the word 'decisive' killing me ? i want to walk the path of life as it comes why is there this thought "its time now..to decide where you want to go... what you want to do... who you want to be with..." why should i not behave like a new student to a foreign school who's unable to forget her old friends and doesn't want to make new friends ? what is so 'sinful' about this ? why can't i NOT 'not listen to' "everyone manages fine... your seniors did your peers are and most of your juniors will..." there are times when i myself wonder why i can't seem to move on there are other times when i do make conscious efforts to move on succeed, externally but the heart can't be deluded... can it ? mine can't be..its too smart... to make up for that soft head...!