Grieving

Sitting on a pile of stones, frosted snow packed hard underfoot, how cold can anyone be? Little fire by my knees doesn’t stop uncontrollable shaking under the balls of my feet, Wish people cared but they despise losers, think we’re lazy, think we need to get a job, Had a job a very good job, loads of responsibility, plenty of respect, never took time off. Then something bad happens hits like a hammer, not once, but many times, can’t get up, Everything that there ever was slowly fades away, confidence goes, just not the same, Can’t face opening letters, leave them to pile up, won’t open the door, just stare at things, Men come round and take all your stuff away, so just sit in a corner, wondering why, Never hurt anyone, wished harm, not done anything wrong, please what’s happening? People in the front garden banging in sale signs, standing looking at me by a window, They look angry, shake their heads and walk away like I’m a criminal, like I’m nothing, Why are people like this? Cause and effect, they only focus on affect, the affect on me. Used to have friends, friends I’d known all my life, they’ve all gone all stopped talking, Family doesn’t understand, they’ve gone too, I don’t understand will someone help me? Losing someone you love, is it wrong to grieve, people said I should be over it by now, But the thing is I can’t, it won’t go, too hurtful the only things that have gone are you.