Grief of Being Disowned

Part of me wishes I knew what I've done wrong! I ask myself everyday why my heart has to be torn in two. The one thing that means the world to me, No longer wants me in their life. I'm toxic and don't know how! I've worked so hard to get back what i had, only for it to vanish into neverland. I'm grieving over the lost, But in reality their very much alive. I've tried so hard to be apart of their life, but in the end, it wasn't good enough. So this is what it feels to be disappointed in oneself, and this is what it feels like to be disowned by someone you gave birth too. This is a pain I never thought i would ever feel. It's crushing with every single breath I take. I just wish this pain would disappear. Just vanished in the wind. I pray to my angels, to help me understand. But even I don't think they have the answer's. Part of me wishes I had the answer's to my own questions, The only answer I can give my grieving heart, Is the one I've always known and felt. This disowned mother, is definitely not wanted, not loved, is truly hated, and won't be missed by any means. So the torture will continue in my mind. And life goes on unfortunately, and my grief will get better in time, But hundreds and thousands of years will go by, and not one day will pass that i won't think of you, or even tell the wind to carry my voice to your ears, and your heart, to hear and know that i will forever love you! your loving mother is always with you, rather you care or not, till my dying last breath.