Manya Saxena Poet Blank verse

Grief: a Question

Is this what paralysis is?
A body in a state of motion
But not quite. A heart in 
Turbulence but now a wrinkle
On the face. The continuous
Jolts, the shivers, that feeling 
Of falling and breaking. Then
Standing up and falling again.

Your poetry crying for help 
and I, holding myself back, 
just to not fall the way I did
earlier but does it matter now? 
Does it? When you are gone and
I am falling again; failing again. 
Is this what paralysis is? The 
Numbness, the dying inside. 

All the songs feels so wrong, 
The music, taking form of you,
Your person, your body and 
Fading, like you did, like I am.
Your words making sense now, 
those words have become you and
I want to tell you that they are 
beautiful. Is this what paralysis is?
The guilt, the grief, the hollowness; nothingness.

I am trapped between the could've
And should've. Trying to remember
Your voice, making up scenarios
And hoping that one day I'll wake up
And I'll see you, standing there and 
I'll be there, like you wanted me to.
I am trying to remember what you
Sounded like in hopes that I'll never
Forget. Is this what paralysis is? 
Lifelessness, forceful speeches and
Silence, long long silence.

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