Great Thespian, I Have Become

Will tomorrow be just another day, will I smile, laugh, enjoy the day. Will I be fighting back the tears I feel building waiting to explode, feeling as though my heart will implode. Aware of my soul trying to slither away from its shell. My body, shaking on the inside, uncontrollably. My voice just wanting to scream out. My mind still wanders, feeling an endless despair, a horror of what may never come to be. My dreams haunted by lost love, friends, who seemed to have disappeared. New flesh always trying to enter my lair. Coming face to face with knowing that there is no one I can take into my space. No love is welcomed here. I convince me, that I am too strong to rely on anyone else but me. I try to find some hope, I try to see me through someone else's eyes, I don’t see the same things that they see. I believe they see me as loving, one who knows no doubts, strong, wise and full of hope, no fears. The empath that enjoys feeling what others so desperately try to hide. Knowing reality before it is set in stone. Someone who is reaching out, willing to help them win a fight. A certainty, known only unto me, such a great thespian I have become. Secrets so well hidden, even I have lost the key.