Grasping At Thin Air



You say you’ve always tried 
to reach out to me,
even to the outer limits of your patience — 
That lofty trust atmosphere

But, just how far
did you try to reach within
the deep, shadow spaces of your heart
And grab a shovel hold 
of the buried fears darkly hidden — 
Rarified confidence shaken

Unconditional love in need of complete certainty
is starry-eye missing
Rock solid trust has vanished into thin-air 
Now our joyous stratosphere
has plummeted into the depths of despair 

A little daily dawn, pillow pep talk,
and a lot of depressing, twilight tears
Sent me sky searching
on a caffeine yawn abstinence walk
Cloudy doubts 
of a split mind 
are asunder trying to blow in my ear — 

A gloomy scent, whispering affair ...
pulse telling me of your new, nicotine needs
Suspicions sucked out of thin air,
giving you inadequacy thoughts of infidelity

A stranger friend knocking at my door,
puffing unkindly of me rude
when I’m not here
Poisonous breath cancerous to the core,
makes your loving attitude
vapor disappear

Anger shrouded in a mist veil of phantom promiscuity;
I gotta climb up the interrogation stairs,
thru the lip curse downpour of more accusatory weeps

Something has to whether change ... 
should I fallen leave or sturdy remain?

Emotional peace is mountain altitude rare
It’s so hard to keep loving someone
who really don’t think you honestly care

Having plea feelings strapped to an electric chair;
zapped by constant jolts of distrust,
got this brokenhearted man grasping at thin air

Free-falling cry thru the storm clouds,
seems your rescue reach
shrinks a bit more with each dry smile
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Krutsinger Avatar
January 29, 2019 at 9:31 PM
"Rock solid trust has vanished into thin-air Now our joyous stratosphere has plummeted into the depths of despair". This is such a sad part of this poem, but a reflection of a poet who knows himself well, and is in touch with his essence and his soul. No surprise there, Freddie.
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