Grandma

Grandma,

It has been two ears
Since I got the call.
“she’s gone”
Gone. Forever. No more.
I sat in bed and cried.
Cried so hard I would shake.
Tried to put on my bravest and happiest face.
Failed.
Didn’t get to say goodbye
Didn’t get to tell her
That I love her one more time
Last grandparent alive
And I didn’t get to say goodbye.
Sixteen days off of life support
Slowly dying,
Slowly suffocating
A year and a half later and I get to go to her grave.
Final resting place
A slab of stone and a chunk of grass.
She’s up with grandpa, 
Finally happy
But down here, my heart hurts
I miss her phone calls
3 a day
Mom says she’d want me to smile 
When I think of her, not cry
But I can’t help it
Two years later, 
I still shake.
Still sob until it hurts
Valentine’s Day is the second hardest day
Her birthday.
The whole family hasn’t been together for two years
There’s a very big whole in our hearts
She belongs there
She is a beautiful angel now
Watching over her family, smiling.
I hope to god that she is proud of me
Of whom I've become
I would give anything to hear her say
“Hi honey”
She didn't have a mean bone in her body,
Always wanted the best for her kids, grand kids.
We were her whole life
I regret not answering her phone calls.
I will never forget her
She will always be in my heart,
And every April 20th, I will remember her.
Remember her smile,
Her laugh,
How she loved her Moo-Moos,
And her St. Patricks day.
She is with her husband now, 
Happy in heaven.
Finally at peace
I know she is watching us
Everywhere we go, she is there
Tell grandpa that I say hello,
Beautiful angel.
Rita Seitz
O4,2O,2O11

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