Jacquie Davis | + Follow Poet |
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Grab It Not Pt1

No, ´Grab me by the pussy is not a joke,
It is not locker room talk, no Alpha male stuff,
I was only 6 years old.
Let it sink in.
6 years. Old. 
Or young.
When a male Alpha´ed his less than whatever
is the last Greek letter in that Alphabet behaviour
On my itty bitty self.
My crime for being female.
My punishment for being a child.

You don´t say it´s toxic masculinity
When you dare open your mouth and blame me
For being raped when I was nothing more than a baby,
Not an adult in any
Sense of the word.
Or make excuses for their behaviour.
Tell me men do not know better.
The fact that you think you need to make excuses, tells me,
Men know better but they just don´t care.

Or when I am again sexually assaulted and
A bit after that again raped and
Abused and beaten by different men.
Could you not hoover over these predators and say:
“This is ********. No man should behave this way.
And no man held to normal standards of humanity does.”
Instead you say: 
“How could you let it happen it to you again?
How could you let yourself get into harms way?”
As if I had a choice in the matter,
As if 50% of the world is not basically populated with men,
And you all are kinda hard to avoid
Or ignore
Or open about the fact whether you are a rapist or not.
And when I assume you are not, I am too trustworthy.
And when I assume you are, I am not trustworthy enough.

I can´t win.
I am the sum of my parts and nothing,
No nothing
More.
I am a pussy to grab,
A boob to lick,
A back to throw against the wall,
A head to smash against the pavement.

And when one of my assailants
Suddenly becomes a neighbour
You ask me why I smile when I see him in the hallway,
You ask why I just didn´t move
House
As if I could move.
10 years after he threw me on the ground
And I still could not move.
How symbolic.

Copyright © Jacquie Davis | Year Posted 2016

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