Goodbye Grandma

the door grates open and I bite my lip so hard it bleeds she can't see you cry, she can't my palms sweat against the doorknob attempting to hide my worried face, I try to take in air but my throat feels like sandpaper and all the memories flash before my cloudy eyes the nostalgia of all those days we sat down, just to talk connected to plugs and ventilators my role model, my hero, the one I could trust for a warm hand on my shoulder a tear rolls down my cheek as I say, I love you grandma I love you so much and I always will she has no idea who I am, she can't remember the memories as I can we thought she had more time, I knew it wasn't much a few days at most is enough enough times to say "love ya" to not build regret. but sometimes, the best ones you can't do much for you have to learn to let go, and they will go they will form a pool of tears at your feet they will make you blue as the ocean they will cause you to cry out of guilt It's cause they love you as you grow tattered and aged you need an Angel. so thanks for going, and soaking my tissues thanks for the weight of me you carried on your back for all the good times, and the bad ones, I say from here to up there Goodbye Grandma.