Good that it just means I yearn for attachment

While I deleted all my socials, why have I just installed one to look what her favorites are? I swear I should have just leave it and let it stay in deleted. I am not meant to use such things, I always won't stop what other people might think. Because when I saw that he is following her, both my cheeks got warm and my heart beating fast. Even though she does not follow him back why can I not find in myself what I like and put them into favorites, but wait for hers? I do not know what this feeling is, you know my heart isn't stopping and my cheeks still feel heavy. I just hope my brain does not feel shaky how it does everyday. Seeing the amount of na*ed girls he follows, I think I knew already before. But why do I not find it funny anymore? I just did not find it as bad. I did not really thought much about it and immedietly forgot it It aligns with his past behavior very well. With the behavior he has now too I guess. We just do not talk anymore so I do not know. Not any feeling, just something bad lingering you know?