Gone

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***I do know the hope of heaven and believe that my son is there. However, this is the pain of a mother's loss coming out.

My grief riddled mind is racing
my heart is beating fast
and my breaths are shallow
as I wake up from a troubled dream

And I remember that my son is gone

I can't even remember exactly what
was troubling about the dream,
but reality hits the moment that
I fully wake up

My son is gone

I suspect this will happen daily
until it really sinks in
that I have lost 1/4 of my
immediate family

Because my son is gone

The nurturer in me seeks
out my husband to see how he is
handling the new day and we
realize that neither slept well

Because our son is gone

Facing a hard day with little sleep
is something we are used to now, 
almost a week since they pronounced
the death of our youngest son

Our sweet son is gone

Losing a child is a kind of pain
that you just can't explain
and I pray that most of my friends
and family don't have to face 

A son being gone

I keep telling myself to put one foot
in front of the other and accompish 
what must be done to get ready
for the funeral

How can my son be gone?

How is this real?  
Questioning reality does not help.
so I try to move on but I wonder
how my world will keep moving
 
After my son is gone

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Oliver Mckeithan

Date: 5/24/2025 12:41:00 PM

Powerful and sad Kathleen. I have never had the experience so I cannot fathom the grief you and your husband must feel. My prayers are for you both. Every birthday or holiday will be hard.

Kathleen Hassall
Date: 5/25/2025 3:49:00 AM

Thank you Oliver. He dealt with Mental Illness and we tried to support him but it was such a heavy thing for him to carry.

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 5/22/2025 6:08:00 AM

Is this a recent loss? My heart hurts for you. I am so glad you are writing about this. The grieving process is real and nothing to be ashamed of because God knows and He shed tears when his friend died. He felt the pain and he feels ours. He bled in the garden from such pain too. May God comfort you. ((hug))

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 5/23/2025 10:24:00 AM

I am so very very sorry.

Kathleen Hassall
Date: 5/22/2025 6:22:00 AM

My son was declared brain dead on Friday and had organ donation surgery on Saturday and the funeral is tomorrow. The first few days I couldn't even breathe, but I have been able to write the last few days and I think it helps.