Golfing

You’re in Palm Springs, not much to do But golf and get some sun Hop on a cart, still almost dark Get out and have some fun Line up your shot, you’re feeling hot You try hard not to push But half the time, like you were blind It ends up in the bush You curse and swear like no one’s there Dig up a chunk of dirt You hit a house, feel like a louse Thank God no one was hurt You hack around, rip up the ground The hole seems ’way too small You miss your shot and swear a lot This is no fun at all Every shot’s worse than the last No matter how you try They don’t go where you want them It makes you wanna cry Your buddies laugh, you stand and chaff You ask them what’s so funny They grin and say, “Looks like today You owe us lots of money” Finally when you make a shot You think you’re getting hotter You rip the next shot long and hard Straight into the water Every shot makes someone smile Somehow it’s never you A foursome comes up from behind Asks if they could play through You shank and pull you slash and slice You finally get around The only part that you enjoy Is when you’re homeward bound You practice ‘til the sun goes down Determined not to fail The more you try the worse it gets You just groove your slash and flail Today I had a real good day I’m happy as could be Had lots of fun, me and my Hon Stayed home and watched TV