Elaina Lester-Dame Poet Free verse

Gold Star Sadness

I get straight A’s 
I show up 
I say thank you 
I win medals 
And never cry
In public 

They say 
I’m so mature
So composed 
So impressive

But no one asks
How it feels 
To carry a coffin 
Of expectations 
On a growing spine

Being depressed 
When you’re “so good at everything” 
Is like drowning 
In a sea of applause 

Everyone’s clapping
While you suffocate

Because you’re not allowed 
To fall apart
When you look 
So put together

They see trophies 
Not the tremors 
They hear the speech 
Not the silence
Between breaths 

I’m the one they call 
When they need something
But I 
Don’t even know 
What I need

And the worst part is 
I keep performing 
Because I don’t know how to stop

Without disappearing

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