Gloom Beauty and Despair...(For Envy)

I seem to fall in love constantly; 
Seem to find it everywhere I go, 
Half buried in the sand, like pieces of fallen moon 
Waiting me to pick it up and devour it – 
To shred myself to ribbons from the inside
The serrated edges slashing my heart, 
And painting my soul with bloody lacerations…
They say love hurts and they would know 
But they are men, with hearts cordoned off, locked up 
They don’t have my soft core of need and despair 
They don’t feel the things I do…
The things I feel for you 
Of course it didn’t come as a surprise – 
I handpicked you for your perfection after all, 
Chose you above a thousand others…
But that doesn’t lessen the pain, 
Or the crushing sense of doom that descended when you left 
And it doesn’t console me now, as I sit alone 
Trapped in my tower of solitude, miles away from you 
Not knowing if you could even comprehend this agony, 
Or the way my heart glimmers when you smile…
For all I know you are totally oblivious, 
Or just thought it was a bit of fun, a casual collision of souls 
But deep down I am hoping you aren’t that shallow, 
You didn’t seem to be, when you sat with tears on your lashes 
Mourning the way life has let you down…
Or when I gave in to my grief and you held me, 
Rubbing my back in soothing circles and murmuring your pity 
You know we are two tortured hearts alike, mirror images 
Your pain matching mine in bleeding lines 
We shouldn’t let this camaraderie go…
I don’t want to watch you fade away or turn your back 
Because I can’t spend another endless stretch of nights like the last one 
Weeping into my pillow as I listen to your favourite song…
I can’t handle that kind of gloom, beauty and despair, 
Not for very long…
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Smith-Johnsen Avatar
January 19, 2010 at 2:29 AM
Congratulations on your placement in John Heck’s “Love is in the Air” contest with this heartfelt poem. It's easy to see why you did so well. Keep the feelings flowing through your pen. Lovingly, Dane Ann.
Brown Avatar
January 17, 2010 at 6:40 AM
Congratulations on your win in John's contest Amy. I can see he had a hard time picking the winners. Some fabulous poetry was entered. Love, Carol
Dietrich Avatar
January 16, 2010 at 5:33 PM
I really like this one. so glad I visited the winner poems to see this. And a big congratulations!! andrea hmmm, I think I gotta put this in favs!
Fraser Avatar
January 16, 2010 at 9:11 AM
Amy, many congratulations on your win in John's fine contest >> James
George   Avatar
January 16, 2010 at 1:35 AM
A sensational pouring of the emotional pain only love can know. Congratulations on your well deserved win in John's contest, dear Amy. Love, Lainie
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace