Girl Interrupted

My mind is constantly spinning in a 24 hour torture chamber, featuring unsettling displays of erratic behavior. Death at this point would be a reward, please do me this one favor. Alone again to no surprise, restricted to a code of silence. Harboring a lifetime of regrets and grudges, now confined within the dark red walls of violence. Masking the pain, hiding the truth with a painted on face. I've buried the secrets so deep in the ground, only time can erase. Pushed into uncontrollable situations, my soul consumed with rage. Tangled in a web spun just for me and sentenced to a life locked inside a cage. I enjoy playing the villain, the only roll that comes naturally. Pressing every button I can, sit back to enjoy the show, why won't anyone set me free. Rock bottom has finally come, I am damaged beyond repair. Trapped in my own personal dungeon, to try an escape I won't even dare. A constant stampede of jumbled thoughts are pounding in my head. Tripping over the hurdles searching for the right words, to all that needs to be said. I can't finish a thought before a new one.begins, they are literally colliding on the track. I have lost so much of myself inches.ruble and debris, non of which I'll ever get back. My.theory on life to most don't make sense, is.to emotionally cut cut off all ties. Its to hard to function in a world full of weakness, that was built upon a foundation of lies. Im barracaded behind a wall of steel, my flaws are protected and secure. I've locked myself away from traffic and the noise, Im a lifer, no recovery, no cure. Ambivalence, Am I sane? Am I crazy? Will I stay or will I go? The one answer I would like to know.