Ghost of Guilt

haunt me as i haunted your life, who was it that failed, did you fail as a father, or did i fail as a son. the tears i shed on that morning in January, do they compare to the tears you drank. leaving nothing behind only your blood. is it to late for me to apologise? consuming your death to fill the gaps in your broken life. only realising what i lost, or did i ever have it? who is to blame for there mistakes. at least you can say you tried, what do i have to show. at night i try to make another chance in my sleep, i rest in a alternative reality. my mind try’s to make it that your not really gone there is still a chance. trying to come to terms that it could of been me that failed. i can blame you but i am no better so why not blame me, i guess you felt the same. so is it your ghost that haunts me at night, or is it my own guilt showing.