Getting Old

Getting Old Getting old sucks, and it's plain to see Mother Nature's having fun tormenting me. Sitting in a chair enjoying a snack, I start to get up, and there goes my back. Sitting on my porch, watching the world go by, Next thing I know, my blood pressure's high. As a young man I could eat anything, ah but alas, Now no matter what I eat I end up with gas. And doing "the deed" thrice a night was great fun; But now I'm lucky if it turns out to be one. In my youth I had a head full of hair, Now, at my age, my head's almost bare. I used to love to walk in the rain, But now, when it's damp I get arthritic pain. As a lad I could attract any lass in a skirt, But now, if I try, I'm called a pervert. As a lad my memory was as bright as a flame, But now I have trouble remembering my name. My eyesight, of course, is dwindling as well, I look in a mirror, and who's there I can't tell. I have a phone I can use to call all my friends, But I can't remember their names, it just never ends. I didn't care about bumps and scrapes as a kid, But now the old body doesn't heal like it did. Scrapes seem to take forever to heal, And aches and pains seem to be all that I feel. Well, as I said at the start, it's not fun getting old, But considering the alternative, life's more precious than gold. So bring on the aches and the pains and the chills, The memory loss, the reliance on pills; I may not be as spry as I once was, And I may need to take the occasional pause; But by God I'll continue as long as I can, And in the end I can die a decrepit old man.